You’ve still got time to get to Ottawa for Friday night’s “Painted Lips and Lolly Licks: The Sexy Film Festival” at the Mayfair Theatre.

According to the Ottawa Citizen, the evening will include 22 erotic short films, animation and porn-parodies from Ottawa and around the world. Entries will be judged and winners chosen by Sasha Grey.

“Most people who attend are couples and women on girls’ night out,” says festival director Lee Demarbre. “If you’re open minded, you’ll have a good time. It’s a perfect date experience with lots of laughs and art. It will put anyone into the mood.”

- 2-D fan Sasha Grey

Same message Bob Barker used to give on “The Price Is Right.” Thank goodness Sasha did the ad.

The hot tech toy out of this year’s Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas is the Real Touch, the “newest breakthrough in sex technology.”

Looking a bit like a wide thermos, the Real Touch, with design by the obligatory former NASA engineer (who also “tested” it – the horny bastard), is a male masturbation toy with a high-tech bent. By hooking it up to you computer and the Real Touch Web site, the device will synch its motion to a POV porn scene so the Real Touch user can actually feel what it might be like to be sucked by Sasha Grey or ridden by Ashlynn Brooke (if either of those women were made of plastic and the size of a cannister).

But in all seriousness, if you’re a man tired of jerking yourself off (the Real Touch also comes in a gay version), this hands-free device for $149.95 will at least provide you with some new sensations and make you feel like someone else is interested in having sex with you. Just place it over your manhood and let its motorized, pulsating, skin-like belts, lube reservoir and vaginal thermostat do the rest.

It’s the perfect gift for the guy who has everything but a partner.

The Real Touch also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, but we sure hope they don’t re-sell the returned models. Talk about sloppy seconds.

Sasha Grey

Even though she recently starred in the Stephen Soderbergh directed film, “The Girlfriend Experience,” due out this year, Sasha Grey tells the Los Angeles Times in a lengthy interview that she didn’t get into porn as a bridge to mainstream work.

“As far as trying to get into mainstream that is a silly idea,” she says. “I got into porn because I wanted to get into porn. I did eight months of research before I entered the industry. And, as I told you before, I entered porn because I thought there was a void – a lack of quality production. You see the same thing over and over and there was just so much titillation missing from porn. I really wanted to see two people perform like they are into each other. I want to see the titillation. I wanted porn to be more creative.”

So early work like “Cock Whores” was just a means to a more creative end?

Charlotte Stokely

Trying to make an advertising splash for its zipper-front, one-piece, bodysuit, American Apparel has hired porn star/actress/model Charlotte Stokely to, well, unzip it.

You can see the uncensored ad here. You can next see Charlotte at the Sundance Film Festival, as one of the hot stars in the blaxploitation homage, “Black Dynamite.”

Sasha Grey

PS: If Charlotte’s AA ad doesn’t make you want you to unzip something of your own, porn star/actress/model Sasha Grey is also doing some work on the side for American Apparel. You can see her uncensored ad here. We’re not sure what she’s advertising except Sasha Grey. But that’s okay.

Award-winning porn star Sasha Grey is going legit, leaving behind roles in films like “Slam It! In a Young Whore” for a lead in Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh’s “The Girlfriend Experience,” in which she’ll play . . . a young whore.