The Top 20:

1. Alexandria, VA

2. Miami, FL

3. Cambridge, MA

4. Ann Arbor, MI

5. Berkeley, CA

6. Gainesville, FL

7. Arlington VA

8. Salt Lake City, UT

9. Pittsburgh, PA

10. Orlando, FL

11. Washington, DC

12. Bellevue, WA

13. Seattle, WA

14. Richmond, VA

15. Cincinatti, OH

16. Knoxville, TN

17. Columbia, MO

18. Tallahassee, FL

19. Columbia, SC

20. Atlanta, GA

Congratulations to the winners. Now get off the Internet and start making love.

Certainly Amazon realizes that almost all the winners are major college towns.

Except, of course, for Alexandria and Arlington, which is where a lot of politicians live.

Neither can we.

Finkelstein is the “desperate” Phillies fan who was willing to trade sex for Phillies World Series tickets, but unfortunately made her offer to an undercover Bensalem police officer.

According to the Philadelphia Daily News, her lawyer, William J. Brennan, says that the two prostitution charges against her don’t meet the minimal standard of the law.

“I’m asking the higher court to dismiss the charges. Under the current state law in Pennsylvania, the case ruling was an error,” Brennan said yesterday. “She should have never been charged. I believe she did nothing wrong.”

Walker allegedly assaulted a female inmate. Twice.

His excuse: She came on to him.

Dude, she’s in prison.

Former policeman Michael Curtin, 37, won’t have to go to jail but he will spend five years on probation after pleading guilty to soliciting sex from an underage girl and offering others $1,000 . .

. . . To suck their toes.

According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Curtin acknowledged having a foot fetish (which is good because no one would have guessed) and soliciting five teenage girls, sometimes through MySpace, for a tongue pedicure – or more.

The solicitation charges came from when Curtin (aka “Mick”) contacted a 17-year-old girl on MySpace and offered her $1,000 if she would let him kiss her feet and suck her toes.

On another occasion, Curtin (aka “Rockhard”) contacted a 15-year-old girl on MySpace and wrote, “I want to make sweet passionate love to you.”

The youngest of the five girls was 13.

Some of the girls say Curtin gave them alcohol, let them drive his car, and touched them inappropriately.

Sam Krakow, a 34-year-old doctor and father of two from Drexel Hill, Pa., has been arrested for trading drugs for sex.

As if he wasn’t getting enough sex at home.

He and his wife “have sex with the windows wide open. You can see everything,” neighbor Jackie Brokus told NBC10.

Investigators said Krakow even advertised on Craig’s List.

After an undercover officer made contact with Krakow, the doctor sent back sexual text messages with a picture of . . . . well, guess.

Krakow was arrested near a CVS, where he was to give Oxycotin to the undercover cop in exchange for watching her and another woman have sex before he joined the party.

Unfortunately, for Krakow, instead of a threesome he got handcuffed. His next court date is set for Friday.

The staff of Kinky Moments believes that even readers of Kinky Moments will agree that child pornography is a bad thing.

We hope you’ll also agree that in the Internet/Camera phone age, child pornography laws are going to have to change when it comes to teenagers being teenagers.

In Greensburg, Pennsylvania, a little bit east of Pittsburgh, three teenage girls at Greensburg Salem High School, who allegedly sent nude or semi-nude cell phone pictures of themselves, and the three male classmates who received them, have been charged with child pornography.

WPXI.com reports that the girls are 14 or 15, and the boys are 16 or 17. Since they’re juveniles they’re not being named.

“It was a self portrait taken of a juvenile female taking pictures of her body, nude,” said Capt. George Seranko of the Greensburg Police Department.

School officials learned of the photos in October when one of the students violated policy by using a cell phone during school hours. The phone was seized, the photos were found and then other phones were seized after police investigated.

“Taking nude pictures of yourself, nothing good can come out of it,” said Seranko.

We wouldn’t go that far, captain, but certainly no good can come of it when you’re 15.

The Greensburg Salem School District, eager to cover its own ass, issued a statement yesterday saying there was “no evidence of inappropriate activity on school grounds or during the school day other than the violation of the (school’s) electronic devices policy.”

As for the arrested teenagers, the girls are being charged with manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography while the boys face charges of possession.

“It’s very dangerous,” said Seranko. “Once it’s on a cell phone, that cell phone can be put on the Internet where everyone in the world can get access to that juvenile picture. You don’t realize what you are doing until it’s already done.”

Yeah, it’s stupid. Teenagers do stupid shit all the time. Their cell phones allow them new ways to do more stupid shit – like texting friends when they’re driving. That can get them killed.

But a teenage girl trying to impress a teenage boy is not the same thing as an adult abusing a child.

For these kids to possibly do jail time and risk being labeled sex offenders (because how you could convict someone of child pornography and not label the sex offender) is legally nuts.

If you don’t think kids are growing up too fast (and society has no clue how to deal with it), take this story from Philadelphia, reported by the Philadelphia Daily News.

Walter Ransome, who’s all of 13, got caught in the stairwell of the Francis Pastorius Elementary School the week before Thanksgiving.

Was he sneaking a smoke? Nope, he was having sex with an eighth grade girl.

By all accounts it was consensual.

Walter, whose name was obviously released, has been suspended for at least 10 days. The girl, whose name was not released, did not get suspended.

Walter’s mom, Veronica Goss, wants to know why.

“I’m not going against the school board whatsoever,” she said. “Punish these children the way they are supposed to be punished, but don’t just punish one and not the other when they both were involved. That’s not fair.”

Goss said the 10 day suspension was reasonable, given Walter’s action, but what was not acceptable, she believes, is that the girl involved was allowed to stay in school.

“I know he was wrong, he knows he was wrong. That part is resolved,” Goss said.

“But how come the little girl is not wrong? She participated in a sexual act also,” Goss continued.

Walter, a B/C student, agreed.

“Yes, I think I should be suspended,” he said, “but I think she should be suspended too because she was in it too. All she had to say is she didn’t want to do nothing, then it just would have been over.”

Goss said that other boys involved in sexual activity have been suspended while the girls have not. And Walter added that two other boys who engaged in “touching” another girl the same day as his incident were also suspended, while the girl was not.

Maybe the school should just suspend all the boys. Problem solved.

Before the credits we see a middle school student on juvenile probation tell her probation officer that her mother forced her to watch porn while she fingered her genitals.

The cops investigate the address in question and find a house full of young, Liberian women – some pregnant – and a possible human trafficking ring.

Roll credits.

The Philadelphia Daily News reports that Upper Darby, Pa., police are anxious to locate the women, who vanished after authorities started nosing around. The police arrested a woman posing as their mother.

The girl, who told police she was 13, said another adult woman was in the room while mom diddled. But then she changed her story. It wasn’t her mother who fondled her but someone who brought her and several other girls from Liberia and pretended to be their mother, Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood said.

“Which indicates to us, this could be a prostitution thing, a human-trafficking thing,” he said. “In the end, she’s not the mother of any of these kids.”

The woman in custody, Ophelia Cheayee, was arrested Dec. 11 on charges of aggravated indecent assault, possessing obscene and indecent materials, and corruption of a minor.

“She admits she did it,” Chitwood said. “There was no ‘I did it because.’ It was just a ‘I didn’t think it as a big deal’ kind of thing.”

Anderson resigned in September after he learned he was being investigated.

The complaint against Anderson says that he performed sexual acts on a woman after she had called police for help following an altercation with her ex-boyfriend.

According to philly.com, the woman told police that Anderson had “requested that they engage in sexual acts.”

Hey, at least he asked.

She agreed she said because she “did not know what to do because he was a police officer in her residence.”

Upon arriving at her house, Anderson got the angry ex to leave then asked the woman for sex. She allowed him to do her but refused to do him. Use your imagination.

The sex was so hot and heavy that during it, the complaint says, Anderson radioed his partner.

The woman filed a complaint against Anderson later that same day.

Adultland XXX faced the prospect of being shut down for a year because it stayed open for business on Flag Day 2006. The nerve of them. They had also been cited for staying open for business the previous Columbus Day. 

The nonsense behind the township’s decision was an obscure 1893 state banking law determining which holidays require businesses to close, the Associated Press reports. 

“The township invokes the 1893 act but does not explain why the other holidays, such as Arbor Day, designated by the General Assembly as deserving recognition, are not also ’state recognized holidays,”‘ wrote Judge Mary Hannah Leavitt for the unanimous court. 

“It does not explain why the township did not bring action against Adultland for being open on Saturday afternoon, also a ’state recognized holiday’ under the 1893 act,” she said.

Maybe that’s when township officials like to shop.

As per the brief filed by Adultland attorneys, other state-recognized holidays could be read to include Hubert J. Humphrey Jr. Day on May 27, Commodore John Barry Day on Sept. 13, Bird Day on March 21 and Shut-In Day, the third Sunday of October. 

Adultland, however, could have run big promotions around Shut-In Day and Hump Free Day.