The hot tech toy out of this year’s Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas is the Real Touch, the “newest breakthrough in sex technology.”

Looking a bit like a wide thermos, the Real Touch, with design by the obligatory former NASA engineer (who also “tested” it – the horny bastard), is a male masturbation toy with a high-tech bent. By hooking it up to you computer and the Real Touch Web site, the device will synch its motion to a POV porn scene so the Real Touch user can actually feel what it might be like to be sucked by Sasha Grey or ridden by Ashlynn Brooke (if either of those women were made of plastic and the size of a cannister).

But in all seriousness, if you’re a man tired of jerking yourself off (the Real Touch also comes in a gay version), this hands-free device for $149.95 will at least provide you with some new sensations and make you feel like someone else is interested in having sex with you. Just place it over your manhood and let its motorized, pulsating, skin-like belts, lube reservoir and vaginal thermostat do the rest.

It’s the perfect gift for the guy who has everything but a partner.

The Real Touch also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, but we sure hope they don’t re-sell the returned models. Talk about sloppy seconds.

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